1:17am

That's got to be bad. I'm still awake, and not feeling like sleeping (different than feeling tired. I feel that.)
I am concerned about a few (many/all) things. I am concerned about the world. about myself. about faith. alot. about how dirty my room is right now. about school. about the future. about the pain in my back. about this blog. and this house.

I want things to be right, naturally. But they aren't, naturally. Things are not naturally right, they do not become right. Things do not progress towards perfection, am I right? Maybe not.
Because what is perfection, after all. It is a signifier, a mere word with ascribed meaning- possibly ill-ascribed based upon an unfounded argument that the ideal of 'perfection' stands outside of what is real and attainable and tangible and empirical.

oh god, what did I just write. it's too much.

and, I'm not sure why I'm posting this on the house blog and not my own personal rant blog, afterall. I dunno, I just dunno.

Which brings me to this play I'm working on/a part of. IDK IJDK (os, I Don't Know, I Just Don't Know) at Gordon. Opening next week. feeling so unprepared, but knowing things come together.

...at least in the theatre world. The show must go on.
Why do we not take that mentality to the rest of our works?
How can the show go on amongst the horror of nautre and the world? seriously. what is this show for, afterall?

This all sounds really depressing, sorry.
Just late contemplation by this crazy.

1:23. I should try to sleep. long days are even longer when there is no sleep the night before.
truth.

oi, life. death, life. beauty, destruction, beauty.

Important Life Skill Number 274? Check.

Today, I rode a bike. By my self. For the first time ever. And mostly didn't fall. Someone should write a song. And do a dance. Tra-la-la!

Many thanks to the weather for being so beautiful and cool, the Beverly Airport for a nearly-empty parking lot, the Bicycle Gang (Nick, Mat, Kirk, Dawn, Sarah, Christy, Bekah) for their encouragement and good company, Nick and Mat for transporting me there and back again monkey-style, Kirk for helping steady the bike so I wouldn't fall and die before my time, and Brad for the generous although unwitting provision of a bike small enough for me. And, of course, my utter gratitude to the entire Beans Community for the tremendous atmosphere and conversations and food and all kinds of other things that they have grown and and sustained thus far and which have enabled me to dance, climb mountains, and stand on my head. Without all of you, this milestone in my life would remain sadly unpassed.

Next stop: Important Life Skill Number 293: Swimming.

[It has been suggested that we are all morphing into one communal personality...scary]

Bekah says, "Yo" now. And Grimes says, "I want Dunkin'Donas (in a thick Latino accent)" I say, "Yess...Pleassee..." in a very Bekah-esk way, and continue to expand my repertoire of accents and versatile mannerisms the more I live here.

It's what happens when people live together. No matter how different you are, you pick up each other's mannerisms, facial expressions and internalize peices of their personalities--so that when you bump into a friend of a friend's on Cabot St. they say, "that sounded just like Mat Schetne" or "you're starting to talk like Nick Hanlon."

It's what happens when you mock one another so much that you adopt that very thing that used to amuse you about him, about her--so that what used to be David mocking me has now turned into his own urban twang: "Gurlchild, please." "Oh no you didn't."

Chillin' Out Maxin' All Cool

Fourth of July!

Hello from the Beverly Hurricane.

it is real windy out there, ladies. watch out, Marylin Monroe.

I kind of want to watch a movie. Maybe I will, after I get a load of towels in the wash and set some bread for the rising..
I've been wanting to watch Rushmore. Darjeeling is probably on my top favorite 5 movies, so I'm interested in seeing more from Wes Anderson. (Royal Tenenbaums was pretty good as well)

So, I'm the only one home at the moment, if you don't include the ghost. The other day I cam home to an *empty?* house with my madre, wanting to introduce her to everyone... and we heard someone on the first floor (the sink was turning on an off, along with other telltale people sounds), but I decided to show her the second and third floor first and then to go down to see who else was home. On the third floor, I could SWEAR someone was in the bathroom: the sink went on. I called out "hello?" like a complete cliche, and no answer. We went down to the first floor: no one was there. Completely empty house.

Then Brad showed up, so he met my mom.

I shall see if I can become acquainted with this ghost further today, seeing as though I'm the only one here.

little creeped out.

Food, hookah, and merriment all around

On an eve not too long ago, a group of young people who all happen to live together decided to take advantage of the warm weather and the warm company.  The evening progressed with a great amount of merriment, food, and irish-cream-flavored smoke.  This is an account of that evening.

(I apologize for the blurry pictures.  Night photography just happens to be a skill that I haven't yet mastered.  However, I feel it gives them a special quality.)